So I’m just mostly tired, mostly all of the time. Mostly.
I thought so.
Last Christmas I essentially asked for a wardrobe of sweatpants and scrunchies and let me tell you, those gifts have not gone to waste. I’ve mentioned this before, but I’m quite certain I have more outfits comprised of leggings or sweatpants and tee shirts than outfits I could wear in public without being shamed. Honestly though, nothing feels better than changing out of pyjamas and realizing you’re basically just changing into a fresh pair of pyjamas.
You know why?
I blow dry my hair once a week, wear makeup maybe twice and rely on scrunchies to protect myself from the wrath of Jack’s grasp.
When Jack was a week old, I remember thinking,
‘It’s alright, you will shower regularly in a few months when he eats less. You’ll be able to blow-dry your hair when he can play by himself. You’ll wear something other than sweats when he stops spewing milk onto all of your clothes.’
It’s not that you don’t feel like a sleep deprived ghost, smelling like vomit and looking like illness and despair in the first few months of parenthood, you do, but you adapt. The sleep deprivation becomes the norm so you aren’t sleep deprived in theory, and you wear illness and despair like a good pair of heels. The smell, well you get used to it, so you personally won’t notice.
And let’s get one thing straight, unless wearing jeans at home is some sort of sick hobby of yours, you certainly don’t have the energy or pliability to squeeze yourself into anything other than stretchy polyester, nor do you have the limberness to bird-dog a child in them.
Parents are the vessel for upstairs and downstairs. The wipers of tears and jam and bums. The testers of new foods in case they are poisonous or contain something green. The armrests, chairs, the occasional bed. We’re their google, their dictionary and their only ride to the party. We’re their teachers, their peers and their students. We’re the loves of their life and the creators of their misery. The washer, kisser of toes, providers of comedy, drama and mystery. We are completely responsible for keeping them alive.
It’s no small thing.
Not something you are guaranteed to be rewarded for come adulthood.
It takes focus, it takes pain, it takes surrender, it takes gumption.
But Oh, when it gives, it gives.
It gives growth and empathy. It stretches our humanness, reveals what we lack and what we never knew we had in us. It proves us worthy and unworthy. It gives a meatiness to life. It gives us a person to love without any expectation. A person to love unconditionally. A person to watch become a person. And that is everything.
I couldn’t provide a list close enough to giving you back your energy or your independence or a list that could stop your eyes from wrinkling or those greys from growing but I will give you a list that has given me the ability to adopt my new role with a bit of comfort. Some essentials for a good wind down. Some things to pamper oneself because who doesn’t like a good pamper after a long day of wiping and playing google and speaking baby.
Bathing is sacred around here. A bath for Jack is the end of a day. Bubbles and sailboats and stick on letters. Washing away the scrapes and dirt, the tears and disappointments and making room for good dreams.
A bath for me is candles and calm and quiet and warmth. A place to wash away my scrapes and disappointments as well.
So I’ve made up a list of essentials for a good relaxing bath
Fresh Sake Bath Soak: A friend tried to make me drink Sake once. Nope nope nope nope.
But bathe in it? Yes please.
The Sake increases circulation and body temperature to eliminate toxins through sweat. The ginger and pine extract work on sore muscles. It also smooths and tones the skin while you soak.
I bathe in this stuff almost nightly because I like to believe I’m detoxifying, whatever that means. Mostly it makes me feel like I’m a queen, so I’m sticking with it.
Honeycomb Bath Oil: I just tried this oil from Lux Beauty Boutique last night for the first time. Bathing regularly is a pretty drying habit so I wanted an oil to hydrate while I soak. I would recommend this on smell alone but the oil definitely adds a level of moisture to the soak that wasn’t there with the Sake alone.
Lavender Bath Salts: I have a confession. Sometimes I use Jack’s bubble bath. It smells so much better than mine. Like vanilla and lavender and sleep and the top of his head when I kiss him goodnight. Unfortunately, I will use it up in 4 baths so I went searching for a lavender concoction of my own.
This was a first try item as well. The ladies at Lux recommended these to me for a calming bath. The lavender smell is as sentimental as Jack’s bubble bath and I can actually say I had a great sleep after using these.
Dyptique Feu de Bois candle: Friends of mine gave me this candle for my birthday and it took me until yesterday to light it. It was just too beautiful, but I did it and it was worth the light. It smells like camping. I don’t know how else to explain it. Camping in a really good cabin on a mountain without bears or bugs. Camping with wine. So imagine that. A candle that smells like camping with wine.
Fresh Rose Mask: Let’s just agree that Fresh is killin’ it in the skin care domain. Their packaging is perfectly minimal and their ingredients don’t smell like the perfumed, chemical laden products we’re used to.
I got this mask in a sample kit from Sephora a while ago and the second I used it up, I bought the full size. It has sparked my obsession with the smell of rose. The mask itself smells like well, indulgence. It’s that good. It also has cucumber for calming which my sensitive skin appreciates.
I don’t know, maybe I’m impartial to the scents and the romanticism of the whole thing but I can’t think of a better way to unwind.
So get in that tub, fill er with some of your favourite scents, light yourself a candle and if you’re like me, you will turn to some Joni Mitchell or a good (kind of sad, kind of comical, but definitely honest) book.